Ugh.
Tonight I’m feeling terrible.
There is so much I need to do, I need to get a job, I need to write two papers, I need to study for my other classes, I need to get a better workout because I need to get fit, I need to figure out how I’m going to survive the next year, I need to figure out…
There’s something beautiful
There’s something beautiful about having your heart broken because you thought you’d lost a friend forever… and then suddenly they reappear, mending all those broken strings. They come back and suddenly you can forgive them for everything they did because you missed the good times so much. There is no beginning, no end-all conflict and no definate resolution. This is a story that has no ending…
Tonight…
Tonight is one of those night where I want to curl up and cry. Its not just one thing, its everything down to the taste of the fruity candy cane I had this afternoon, the way he makes me feel when he looks into my eyes, the temperture outside, the songs I’m listening to, and even the colors I see around me. Its not just one thing, its everything. From the pulling in my heart everytime I wish he was still around and the pain I feel when I can’t figure out if I feel guilty or like I’m missing something. Its everytime we sing together and I feel like someday I will lose him. The moments when my heart, my mind and my soul are being torn in 3 different directions by three “he”s that I love and their paths in life. And yet… I still can’t choose mine. It should be easy, right? Just choose the path of the one you know you would feel hopeless if you lost. But I’d feel lost if I lost any one of them. Friends, lovers, something more… Its all too much to handle. But I do know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him… and him… and him. I couldn’t lose any of you… but I feel you all slipping away. Why does friendship get so complicated? A friend, a past love and a present love. All three carrying equal importance. All three are loved. All three have hurt me. All three are mine. Beyond them are the stresses that are less narcissistic… I’ve realized something tonight… I want to start over again. But how do I start over without losing them? … I can’t. Oh…
Denial. (laughs) I have an old friend who calls me a fame denier. It’s like his bad word for me. I don’t totally deny it, I just um, I think that fame or celebrity, whatever you want to call it, is um… it’s a by-product. And in being so it’s kind of a trap, and it’s not something to be um- that in it of itself, is not something to work towards. I think it’s distracting. So it’s appreciated and it’s humbling and it’s fun sometimes too. I was in a like a 30 person group hug like 4 weeks ago and it was awesome. Somebody grabbed my cock though and I’m not sure if it was a guy or a girl… but once again it’s the good, the bad, the ugly, the groping, whatever- oh! It was in New Zealand. It wasn’t a hard grope, it was just sort of a gentle pull. So, yeah… There are fruits to be picked of this whole fame thing…
– Brandon Boyd, when asked how he deals with fame. (via mydearbrandon)(Source: fuckyeahincubus)
Via It's you i admire,my living example.
About me
I'm short. I'm funny. I'm slightly crazy. I have a passion for analysis in all things. I love music, storms, writing poetry and being with my best friends. I post a lot of music for you to check out; songs, bands and even some lists of ones I'd group together for great listening. There's nothing in my life that I can't relate to music. I have a widespread taste in genres and I welcome any suggestions that you have for me as well!
